We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
sitting in my room eating a boneless rib tv dinner, and listening to taylor swift's love story, and i sharted. had to finish the ribs and hear the end of the song before i went to the bathroom to wipe.
Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
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