If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
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