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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Randomize
