If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
Randomize
