Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
Randomize
