I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
Randomize
