im gay
i know
yea but for you.
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
Randomize
