Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
The feeling are messing with the penis
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
Randomize
