i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
Randomize
