That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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