I cockslap morals
i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
Randomize
