Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Randomize
