The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
Randomize