So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
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