Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
Randomize
