easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
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