so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
Randomize
