You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
Randomize
