You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
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