is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Randomize
