Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
Randomize
