can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
I just took the kind of shit that makes your eyes well up with tears as you feel it moving inside of you... So cleansing.
As your only female friend, I feel the need to inform you that texts like these are why she dumped you.
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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