69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
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