Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
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