There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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