..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
Randomize
