id be glad to
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
Randomize
