Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
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