I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
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