One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
Randomize
