She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
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