Buhtt sex?
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
Randomize