I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
Randomize
