it wasn't lemon gatorade
If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Randomize
