His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
where does the pee come out of this thing
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
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