they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
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