Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
Randomize
