hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
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