I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
