I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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