I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
Randomize
