I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
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