how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
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