On imdb the canadians say It's amazing
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
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