Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Randomize
