yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
Randomize
