I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
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