Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
I just got a text from a stranger offering to shave my asshole. I've been sober and out of town for a week, are you using my number as a dial-a-dumping again?
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
Randomize
