I love black thongs
Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
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