Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
Randomize
