He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
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