Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
Randomize
