I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
Randomize
