he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
you mean i was at the winter classic?
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
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