I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
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