what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
Randomize
