my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
Randomize
