Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
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