Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
He felt like a one man threesome
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
Randomize
