Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Randomize
