Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
Randomize
